Life.
Some days, I just wish I could abandon this reality and go to another one – an ideal world, if such a place exists. This life can be so difficult to deal with, sometimes, I wonder why I was born into this universe, and not another.
Sometimes, I just feel so disconnected from this world, as if I’m merely an observer, and not a participator. You know, if somebody/something was to give me the chance to relive my past life, I would seriously consider it.
The yearning for my past life, for a thing that I’ve lost and can’t regain, is immense. Sure, I have memories, but, memories aren’t experiencing everything for the first time.
I guess you could say I’m homesick for a place that I can’t return to. Though, I guess that is the textbook definition of homesickness.
I’d love to experience it all first-hand, once more: the magic, the world, the battles, the memories. I wish I could have my wings and tails back. I wish I could live once more as a demon; as who I once was.
Though, thinking about it now, I don’t think I’d be able to bring myself to give up on this life to re-live my past. As much as I don’t like this world, sometimes, there are people I care about, and people who care about me.
If I were to be given a chance to re-live my past life, I would have to say no. Sure, this world is challenging at times, and, sometimes, it all feels like to much, but, still, this is my life now. It’s a life I’ve never experienced, and one that I’m in the process of experiencing. I don’t know what will happen in the next minute, or in the next day. Or year, or decade.
I don’t know what the future holds. Maybe things will improve. Maybe it’ll all go to shit again. I don’t know.
As much as I love, and miss, my past life, I understand and accept that it was in the past. And, now, I’m looking towards, and hoping for, a future where, if I can be as half as successful, as I was in my past life, I’ll be happy.
After all, I’m not even a quarter of the way through this life!
-Haze
