captain-s-mindfang:

Brief timeline of my experience with multiplicity

Because I know a lot of people have been curious about my
experiences here. They’re hard to talk about, not to mention lengthy, so I’ve
summarized it all into easy to read bullet points. People can feel free to ask
me about anything they want details on, I suppose. A lot of this, especially the
16-24 era is pretty well documented on my old livejournal.

First of all, yes, I grew up in an extremely neglectful,
controlling, abusive environment from the time I was born to the time I was
24ish.

Please note that ages indicate when an experience BEGAN, not that it only occurred between those ages. All experiences carry over unless noted that an experience stopped.

age 8-10

• Characterized myself as a duality
• separate names for either ‘side’ of myself
• internal verbal arguments and discussions between sides
• fluctuated identities without knowing/understanding
• inconsistent internal voice/narrator

age 10-12

• Created internal landscape/headspace to retreat to mentally during long abuse
  sessions
• populated internal landscape with fictional characters I empathized with or
  wanted to keep safe 
• maintained mental relationships with fictional characters in internal landscape
  (fictive headmates)

age 13-15

• first obvious cases of switching/alternate identity states (non-fictive)
• first cases of fictive headmates fronting/switching (with co-consciousness)
• almost no communication/co-consciousness between non-fictive
  headmates/identities at this point aside from internal arguing
• first became aware of the terms ‘muses’ or ‘soulbonds’ for internal
  voices/headmates

Age 15-18

• Switching with fictive headmates is a common, everyday occurrence, often
  multiple times a day
• often switching deliberately depending on who is best suited for a task
• different fictive headmates come and go but many are consistent for years
• Some unintentional switching with fictives due to stress/outside stimuli
• involuntary switching with non-fictive headmates occurs during more stressful
  situations
• some limited communication between non-fictive headmates

Age 19-23

• First became aware of the natural multiplicity community on
  livejournal, through the soulbonding community
• first became aware of the terms multiplicity, system, headmate
• much better communication and co-consciousness achieved between non-fictive
  headmates
• non-fictive headmates finally as able to switch intentionally as fictive
  headmates
• Primary frontrunners Mordax and David are unable to agree which of them
  originated in the body- agree to accept they both have equal claim
• non-fictive headmates coordinate life together, with lesser fictive support
• lots and lots and lots of internal arguments as everyone’s priorities are
  different
• separate headmates kept separate journals, etc, communicated online with  various people who knew them as parts of a
  system

Age 24-25

• Finally removed from daily abusive environment
• Mordax takes more and more control with others fading into the background
• much less frequent switching
• much less frequent communication with fictives
• Mordax believes that David has finally ‘left her alone’/disappeared
• Mordax slowly becomes apparently ‘singlet’, withdraws from the multiple
  community.
• only remaining multiplicity evidence is wildly inconsistent internal
  voice/narrator

Age 26-present

• Mordax slowly realizes that David didn’t ‘leave’ but that they instead
  experienced a spontaneous integration/fusion, with the Mordax identity
  retaining dominance, but mitigated by the David identity. 
• Adopt the name Felix for the gestalt identity/original body inhabitant
• fictive headmate communication slowly returns
• fictive headmate switching slowly returns, but on a much lesser bases (every
  few days or weeks rather than every day)
• Some evidence that non-fictive headmates/switching may be returning
• non-fictive headmate communication still absent if non-fictive headmates are
  present