Mistaken Kintypes: Never a bad thing
(Once again, I am speaking from a spiritual perspective. Always assume any posts on this blog are written as such. Thank you.)
I do not see this discussed as much as it should be. It’s said that you should investigate your kintypes and never stop exploring, (safely) questioning, and understanding yourself, and even your supposed “strongest” kintypes. It seems that the general attitude regarding mistaken kintypes is apprehension and fear, because you identified this way as a long time, and people are afraid of potential backlash from admitting to being wrong about something. You might worry that friends you made over shared species or canons will act as though you’ve betrayed them, or that mistakes shouldn’t happen if you investigate yourself carefully enough.
I am here to say: please don’t be afraid of making mistakes. We all know Lupa herself denounced the title of “therian” and pulled the definitive book on otherkin from publication. You can do the same. If friends or packmates or canonmates or whatever call you a bad person for making an honest mistake about what you are, you don’t need them in your life.
I learned this lesson only recently, after three years of investigation, denial, reawakening, and discovery. A big, big reminder I’d like to extend to you all is yes, even as otherkin, you can have past or parallel nonhuman or “fictional” lives that do not affect you in the way being kin does.
This is why I stress kin being an experience and a connection deeper than most others, because you don’t suddenly lose all your other lives upon discovering you’re kin. I’ve also learned you can explore those memories, feelings, thoughts, etc. for years, and still not feel that deep connection that comes from being kin.
There’s a lot of emphasis placed on “early childhood symptoms”, but not everyone has those. Sometimes, you need to re-evaluate the traits of an animal, mythical being, or character over and over and over before realizing you are kin even though you don’t seem to share many traits. Phantom limbs, memories, and those sorts of things are not what makes someone kin. Having a past life as several animals and remembering those lives is not what kin is.
Otherkin affects you in the here and now, at the very core of your being. It is a past or parallel life (or multiple) that has moved with you, through space and time, into who you are today.
Sometimes, your first exposure to a close “match” can result in you latching onto that identity. Even if it does turn out to be another life, the kin part of the experience can still be mistaken. You may get memories, you may get painful flashbacks, but after awhile you’ll feel like it’s not taking you anywhere.
How can you tell if you might have a mistaken kintype? It’s a hard thing, because nobody likes to be wrong, especially not about themselves. Listen to the little things that tell you from time to time. If you doubt a kintype often, it probably means you should investigate it more thoroughly. Sometimes that prompting is a false alarm, but it shouldn’t be left alone. Questioning yourself too harshly is bad, but so is ignoring any doubts or fears you might have.
Address those fears. Ask yourself where they’re coming from. Are you doubting your specific identity? Are you afraid of what other people might think about your identity? Are you just confused and upset? Think about it, write about it, explore other possibilities that catch your attention. If you experience shifts, write down behaviors and feelings and compare them with similar kintypes. Explore, research, ask people you trust for help.
There is no shame in making mistakes. There is no shame in learning about yourself. Otherkin is never just something that stagnates when you hit a certain point, it grows with you. Just because you think you’ve found all your kintypes, don’t stop looking. Don’t stop experiencing. You’re only doing yourself a disservice by holding onto names, faces, and lives that don’t fit what it means to be kin. And don’t feel like any work has gone to waste while doing this. All those memories, thoughts, and emotions led you to a new realization. Be proud of your effort, be proud of the mistakes that give you new experiences.
Portal
I had a mistaken kintype that I held for years until I realized it was actually something else. Oops.
