So, you’re looking for your kinself?
(A little excerpt from a now-abandoned project, slightly edited from its original format. I thought it would be good to put here, though.)
The
search for who you truly are on a human and nonhuman level is simultaneously
one of the most aggravating and most liberating parts of knowing yourself as an
otherkin. On one hand, you can spend hours a day for several years thinking
about your kintype being a magpie but every time you feel your magpie self, you
can’t help but think something’s not right or worry “what if I’m not
really a magpie because I love magpies so much?” whenever you see one
outside your house.Or, you could spend several hours contemplating being a
crow instead, and remembered your biology teacher explaining the differences
between crows and ravens, and recalling that magpies are part of the same
family. At that point, you’d start wondering which of the three corvids you
really are (assuming you’re a corvid–or even a bird–at all).On the other
hand, though, is a deep connection with yourself; a “wholeness” that
wasn’t there before accepting your otherkin nature. A void that had been
waiting to be filled has been given a name and maybe a place in your private
life.You can rest easy with the knowledge of what you are. You have access to
another part of yourself that you can draw on for strength. It’s a part of you,
it’s who you are. The years it should take to truly pin down what you are
inside (as a person and as otherkin) will be worth it, even if you discover you were wrong about your kintype
or even about being otherkin. You learned about yourself and your interactions
with the world (at least I’d hope), and that in and of itself is important for
life.But, there’s still the issue of actually finding and narrowing down your
massive selection of kintypes if you’re not fully sure of what–or who–you
are.First
things first, astral sensations may or may not be indicative of a kintype.For
example, as a kid I had two types of astral shifts. I either felt my tail or my
wings, but never at the same time up until my freshman year of high school (but
that spawned a whole different mess that I won’t delve into). Because of this,
and my general love of sunbathing, I assumed I was a cat with wings (possibly
due to my love of the Catwings books,
as well) before dropping that around third grade and just pretending to be
different animals despite the continuation of feeling astral limbs.I never
associated other habits like sleeping on blanket piles, pretending to have
“dragon breath” in the winter, and my early love of collecting
foreign currency and “nice rocks” from the local park to be connected
since they never coincided with astral feelings.Also, remember that cameo shifts
can and will happen, and you don’t have a new kintype for every new sensation
you feel. Thinking every new shift means a new kintype can lead into the
dreaded ‘kin-a-week syndrome. While you’re the only one who can determine how
many kintypes is “too many”, it’s best to consider other options such
as soulbonds or cameo shifts if you find yourself gaining kintypes rapidly. If
you only have a single kintype, don’t feel bad! One kintype used to be the only
way to go with the community.Feel proud that you can be the pure essence of
whatever (or whoever) it is that makes up your soul. And if you discover
another one, don’t sweat it. Everyone makes mistakes. (I know I did.)If
you do have multiple kintypes, they don’t all have to fall into the same
category. You can be a lizard, a demon, and Harry Potter. You do not have to be purely otherkin, purely
fictionkin, or purely therian. Some will argue about conflicting kintypes, but
we all have diverse and often conflicting personalities and interests within
ourselves (and I’m talking singlets here–systems/mental collectives are a
different matter entirely).Kintypes are also not relegated to favorites. In
fact, a favorite anything requires more in-depth analysis as to whether or not
you just really like it or if you’re ‘kin. Some people discovered they were an
animal or mythic monster they despised, or a character they made fun of or the
villain of the plot. Sometimes their outlook on the entity in question changes,
sometimes it does not, occasionally leading to self-image issues. The only hard
and fast rule about finding your kintype is that there is no hard and fast
rule, only suggestions and exercises to try. You really, truly are the only
person who can determine your kintype.Portal
