i’m sorry to bother you, i was just wondering if i can get your advice. i think i may be kin with usagi tsukino, but i don’t have any specific memories yet. i’ve tried to write it off as just a synpath or being fiction hearted, but the feelings are just too strong for that. do you have any ideas of how to move forward or a name to give this to make it clearer? it’s been more than a month now, and the feeling won’t go away.
Well, lets see what I can help you with here. Thankfully I happen to be a Sailor Moon expert 😉
First of all, lets dispel the notion that kinfeels are necessarily ‘stronger’ than fictionhearted or synpath feels. Being fictionkin isn’t a stronger type of connection to something, just a different one.
Now, lets see if we can clear up just what you’re feeling. You say you haven’t gotten any ‘specific’ memories yet. I assume you mean visual type memories of specific events. That’s okay, those are the rarest type of memories to get, for a lot of people.
Do you have any more vague sensory memories? Things like the sensation of arms wrapped around a figure in a cape? What it feels like to transform and touch sailor energy? What the crescent moon shape on Luna actually looked like? What rice balls taste like?
Do you experience any image dysphoria, like feeling like your hair should be much longer than it is, or expecting to see a different face in the mirror?
Do you have feelings of ‘missing’ abilities like being able to transform, and use magical attacks?
Do you have feelings of missing people from the show like Sailor Mars, or Tuxedo Mask?
These are the types of questions you should ask yourself when trying to determine if you’re kin. I hope some of these help. If you can’t answer yes to any of these types of questions then its likely that you have some other type of connection besides kin. You might have a very strong fictionhearted connection, or synpathic bond.
Man, my kintype* is some fucking weakass shit. I can go forever without really feeling it, and I get cameos from a headmate’s kintype so frequently that I think I sometimes don’t spot the subtler stuff from my own kintype. It’s a kintype because it’s still always there, underneath. Because I am it. Because it’s part of me, like “human” and “queer” and “gamer” are part of me.
My animal-hearted experience OTOH is like being sucker punched at regular intervals. I actually avoid stuff that reminds me of my heart type most of the time, because while yeah the sensation is cool to immerse myself in, it’s sensory overload, it’s heat on raw skin, it’s just too much to handle for more than very short very rare periods.
Something being stronger does not make it a kintype. Something being a kintype makes it a kintype. Heart types, synpaths, copinglinks, can all be amazing and powerful experiences, frequently more so than being otherkin.
I would say that the hearted experience can cause a lot of feelings like missing people and even dysphoria. Honestly the best way to figure out which it is is to:
a) Realise that it doesn’t matter. That the label ultimately matters most to you, the experience doesn’t change no matter what you call it. That “I’m not sure what this is yet” is a valid option many people in the community have used, sometimes for months or years at a time.
b) Immerse yourself in the community, get used to how different people talk about and relate to their experiences. Try Kinmunity, try fictionkin.com, try Incanon. Take your time and feel free to ask questions as they occur to you.
A lot of people are sceptical about off-Tumblr sites, and about taking the slow questioning route. But believe me, none of the older members here or there would be around today if we hadn’t had a supportive community with topics discussing things like how our awakenings felt, whether we get our memories in a form like “real life” or a form like our canon’s media, how we tell our kintypes apart, etc. All archived for people to page through, and frequently searchable. It’s a real help in figuring out whether you’re ‘kin and becoming more informed and self-confident if you are. I 100% recommend it if you feel you can join up.
*actual kintype not my fictive ID’s species, although that is also some fairly weakass shit just not quite to the same extent 😛
