I’ve questioned Pearl myself for a lot of the same reasons you listed here (and reading that kinda reopened that questioning). I’m still not entirely sure if I Am Her or just Want to be her.

Ooof, good luck, anon. ^^ You have my good wishes– its definitely a hard thing to question. I hope you’re able to get a handle on and understand the feelings you’re having, and its a positive outcome one way or the other ^^;; I’m always around if you want to talk in any case.