Fictionkin and mental illness- an explanation and my thoughts

Tumblr, I’ve been having a rough few weeks.My system has been in chaos,and  I’m in the middle of a mixed state episode. I don’t know which is responsible for which, and it probably doesn’t matter. I’ve been dealing with crises from all sides. My grandmother is in the hospital, and my abusive parents are using it as another chance to manipulate me.

None of this excuses the very public tantrum I had at the beginning of it, about kin and mental illness.

My conscience has been ragging on me about it for weeks, but I have literally not had the emotional fortitude to deal with making a post about it. I don’t really feel like I have the emotional fortitude to do it now, but I had really better do it anyway because I haven’t been able to post about anything else with it hanging in the air.

In my previous posts, I made it sound like I (from my high and mighty tower) didn’t believe that kin who identify mental illness as the ‘reason’ for their kin beliefs, were valid as kin. I was feeling triggered and attacked at the time, and I lashed out, and I hurt a very fragile and and vulnerable community. I’m sorry.

What it sounded like I was saying, what I said, was bullshit, and it’s honestly not how I feel. I believe anyone who truly believes that they are/were a fictional character is fictionkin, and I don’t care why that belief came about.

Some kin have been made to feel like their kin beliefs are a direct result of their mental illness. They feel that their belief that they are a fictional character can not be externally real, and rather must be a result of their internal neurology/brain chemistry. Some kin do not believe this, but say they do, or even tell themselves that they do, in order to validate themselves with doctors, parents, partners etc, and/or to feel in control of their internal experience.

To those kin, I say. I believe you. I believe that you are the person you say you are. And even if you don’t believe it, or can’t accept that you believe it because you are mentally ill, I still believe you. I believe that your kin identity is real, and has validity and reality externally, outside yourself. I believe that you are you in a way that is meaningful to the world at large. You do not need to justify yourself to me, because I believe you.

I also believe that the need to justify a belief in fictionkin as stemming from mental illness is the result of ableism and the oppression of the mentally ill. We are told by those who misunderstand mental illness that every unusual belief (even harmless ones such as fictionkin) must be the result of delusion or mental illness. We are told that because we are mentally ill, our every thought is in question, up for public debate over what is ‘real’ and I hate that.

Throughout my life I have been told that I am crazy, and that my believe in fictionkin must be a delusion, and the result of mental illness. As a result of that, I do get extremely defensive towards people who link mental illness and being kin. However, that is not fair to other people who struggle with the same questions.

I do not believe that being fictionkin truely results from the mind, or from mental illness.

However, that does not mean that I do not believe kin who believe that their identity is a result of psychology or mental illness.

I believe anyone who truly believes that they are/were literally a fictional character or member of a fictional race is fictionkin.

I do not believe that people who think you can pick a kintype are kin. I do not believe that people who give 0 thought or reflection to their kintype/kinself are really kin. (for instance people who say they are kin jokingly, or because they share one trait with a character, or because they think being kin is cute or trendy.)

If you say you are kin, understand what it means, and really believe it, then I believe you. I don’t care where that belief comes from. None of us know our origins for sure, and everyone has doubts and fears, I know I do.

Personally, I believe in souls. I believe everyone has one (or more), and that belief is not going to change any time soon. I believe that fictionkin are people who’s souls at one point belonged to other people who are portrayed in our earth fictional media. But its okay if you don’t believe that. I’m not going to force it on anyone. I’m sorry if it came across like I was.

The bottom line is, if you say you are fictionkin, as long as you arent bullshitting, or being completely stupid about it, I believe you.

And I’m sorry for being an asshole sometimes.