I think I found someone from my canon (fictionkin)…but they’re a minor, 6 yrs younger, and I’m a legal adult. I feel so creepy and disappointed about it bc I think they’re my mate. What should I do…? I don’t want to get into a bad situation.
I’m going to assume this is someone you’ve found or met online, and not someone you know in person.
You don’t mention how old they are as a minor, or if you’ve actually had contact with them, so I’m going to discuss this a couple ways. Let’s remember, the age match up is either 12/18, 13/19, 14/20, 15/21, 16/22, or 17/23
Lets assume you haven’t initiated contact with them:
- don’t initiate contact with them
- don’t stalk their blog
- don’t obsess over them
- go do something else and interact with people closer to your own age
Nothing good can come of starting interaction at this stage. If the two of you are somehow meant to be, fate will wait for you. There is plenty of time. At BEST you would be in for a frustrating several years of waiting for each other, while you’re accused of being a pedophile and groomer. At worst, you’d be doing so only to find out you’re completely incompatible and this is a waste of everybody’s time and emotional energy.
Now, lets assume you’ve already initiated contact with them.
- ease off contact with them. Keep it text based and infrequent
- make certain they know how old you are
- do NOT tell them you feel like you may be their ‘mate’. Ever.
- don’t obsess over them
- go do something else and interact with people closer to your own age.
I don’t know who this person is, but getting emotionally involved with minors can ruin your life. Years ago, I accidentally gave my phone number to someone I knew online, who I later found out was only 14. I was in my 20s at the time. They had gotten a crush on me and kept calling me in the middle of the night. At once point they threatened suicide if I didn’t talk to them. I had to block their number because I knew there was no way that we could have a healthy friendship (I wasn’t interested in them romantically at all, and made it clear repeatedly, however they continued to act romantically toward me.)
The difference of 6 years is not a huge distance. But it IS huge when one of you is a minor. The difference in life experience between someone who is in middle or high school, and someone who is in college or working a job is staggering in ways you can’t really understand without sitting down to think of them all. A minor is nowhere NEAR as emotionally independent as you are. You are 100% looking for trouble if you try to involve yourself in this person’s life.
Listen to me, bro. I get you. My fiancee is 6 years younger than me, and we met when she was 19. We’re both kin, and we share canons. But that’s not how the relationship started. It started with two consenting adults, who had shared life experience and interests.
Do NOT fuck your emotions, and this kid’s emotions up with your emotional kin baggage. You don’t want this BS. You especially don’t want people calling you a pedophile and a groomer. Frankly, people are probably going to call you one from just reading this ask.
But don’t be one, anon. Don’t be a creeper. Leave minors alone. Period.
