How do you deal with the joyful memories? I remember in vivid details, to the life, being with my husband, becoming pregnant, his eyes, his perfect brown eyes. I want that again. I can hardly bear it. This isn’t enough.

The same way I deal with painful memories, anon. Acknowledge that it happened, and try to move on. Maybe nothing compares to the feeling of this memory now, but there is as much in this life as there is in any other. Give yourself time. There will be happy memories here. And you will always have these other memories to treasure.