how do you deal with being kin with a bad person, like, ‘blowing up entire planets full of people’ type of bad, i feel really distraught about this and im scared it might make me a bad person even though I didn’t do those things in this life
Things i have done in my kin lives:
- brutally enslaved a race of adorable sentient creatures
- created a frankensteinian monstrosity
- killed and maimed fellow teenagers in the course of ‘games’
- being a general bitch
- etc
My fiancee, meanwhile, is the reincarnation of a genocidal alien queen.
There are times when I think about the things that I’ve done in my kin lives and am completely overtaken by guilt. I’ve spent time crying, and cursing myself for having done these things. Wishing I could have some way to fix them. Telling myself I must be an inherently bad person.
I will also admit there are times when I’m not sorry for all the tings I’ve done. When I can look back in a way that appreciates or finds amusement in the bad things I’ve done- generally when I’m in a strong kin shift. But these times are rare.
What I remind myself when I’m feeling guilty, and when I’m feeling distinctly NOT guilty, too, is that I can’t go back and change these things. They’re in the past. They’re part of who I was, and who I am, but they’re not all of who I am. I can be whoever I want to be now, and I should, and do try to be a better, stronger, more caring and understanding person.
Its scary and unpleasant to remember doing terrible things. It hurts. It hurts and it will probably never stop hurting. But even if its who you were, its not who you have to be now. You don’t need to go through life feeling guilty, if you can help it. Just try to be the person you want to be now.
